We find via Claire’s posh voice-over, that the Highlanders are camped in Northern England, no other soldiers have joined up #Chickens and they’re awaiting orders from Prince Charles. Because Claire can’t sit still for five minutes without pestering somebody, she’s pulling teeth from the mouths of innocent citizens as Rupert looks on cringing.
The fancifully dressed military poobas are urging the clueless Prince to turn back, but he won’t listen because he thinks the voice in his head is God rather than just his inbred ravings. Jamie is the only one who backs him up and Charlie storms out of their meeting. Jamie gives Claire the bad news, they won’t take London and change history because the Officers refused. Jamie tells his men, they’re heading back to Lallybroch for winter.
That night Claire is sleeping and Jamie is whispering Gaidhlig sweet nothings in her ear and my Grinch heart grows two sizes more. She wakes and asks what he said, he tells her he can say things to her while she sleeps that he can’t say when she’s awake. Oh my…
Next morning, Dougal bursts into their room and gives Jamie a note from the Prince telling him to take his men to Inverness and resupply for winter. #Foreshadow The officers banished Jamie cuz they want him out of the Prince’s posse due to his influence. The cherry on top of this ice cream sundae, is the Prince also took Jamie’s horse.
The Highlanders have made camp by a river, when suddenly they’re under attack by the English. The MacKenzie-Frasers mount up and gallop off leading the English away from the Highlanders who’re on foot. Suddenly the English come up behind them and shoot Rupert in the eye and Dougal does a fancy ‘Three Musketeers’ move and jumps to Rupert’s horse saving him. Jamie yells ‘Bradshaw’ or similar which is Gaidhlig for ‘turn off the road and quietly hide from the English cuz they can’t track us!’ and I need to remember that phrase.
They take refuge in a church and Claire shoves Rupert down on the alter and digs the bullet out of his eye with a knife and I consider keeping a bucket nearby cuz if she’s gonna keep pulling this random shizzle, I’m gonna need a place to puke. Claire gives Rupert an eye patch and says they’ll get him a peg leg and a parrot to complete his pirate costume, and I’m SO happy that Diana G wrote this episode and added her humorous comments that I bellow Tulach Ard Y’all, do a couple of fist pumps and startle my little dog.
It’s night time and the church is surrounded by the English, Jamie wants to surrender because of the price on his head, but Claire yells ‘Help’ and pretends to be a captive. The redcoats fall for it and take Claire and let the rest go free and I’m so glad they didn’t have social media back then because there’s only so many times you can pull that one and get away with it. Due to Claire’s glass face, wee Fergus tells her to faint, that way she won’t have to explain her guilty expression.
The English arrive in a small town and Claire is spotted by Hugh Munro outside a tavern where they’re to spend the night. Next morning Claire wakes up and is told she’s being taken to Belmont House to stay with a rich Englishman. As they leave, she sees Munro and manages to not so subtly relay a message to him.
Turns out the Englishman is the Duke of Sandringham who pretends not to recognize Claire so the English leave her there. They settle in to dinner and the Duke says he’s suffering as he has to make do with only a butler, valet and a 3-day a week cook. He was once in the Tower of London for being a suspected Jacobite and the house is being watched. Meanwhile, Murtagh and Jamie steal two horses and are galloping in the direction they think they’ll find Claire. The Duke didn’t reveal Claire’s identity because he too wants to be rescued by Jamie. #GetInLine It seems the Duke ‘knows a guy.’ Dis guy can get a note past da soldiers if she’s gives her word that he’ll be rescued too.
She writes a note in Gaidhlig and Sandy says he’ll have it delivered to Hugh Munro who’ll take it to Jamie. Just then wee Mary Hawkins comes in. Seems the Duke is her godfather and she’s staying in the house. He’s found another wealthy, older man to marry her off to and she’s trying to find a way out of it. Claire clutches Mary to her pert bosom which puts the CBCC or Claire Bosom Clutching Count at approximately 30 so far this season.
The Duke sends his guy, galloping off into the night in a sort of Paul Revere/UPS style scenario and he finds Munro and delivers the note. Claire spots the Duke’s valet’s birthmark and realizes he’s the asshat who raped Mary. Le Comte wanted to have Claire killed but Sandy bargained it down to a rape and then Mary got caught in the crossfire. Oh and by the way, the redcoats are hiding in the woods waiting to capture Jamie, so there’s that to worry about. Munro meets up with Jamie & Murtagh and delivers the note.
Claire’s locked in her room and Mary opens the door, they’re going to escape together but Mary doesn’t want to sneak down and warn Hugh Munro that Jamie’s walking into a trap because she’s gone all Kardashian for a moment and won’t lower herself to talk to a hobo. Claire opens the door hidden behind a giant portrait and my 8 year old self flips out because it’s Batgirl and her Secret Room all over again! Claire makes it to the kitchen but the damn Duke is down there carb loading. Mary interrupts them and is ordered back to bed. Instead, she grows a pair, opens the door and tells Hugh it’s a trap. The damn valet catches her, shuts the door and brings her back to the kitchen.
Jamie suddenly bursts in, the Duke slams his wig on his head (he must be hawt for Jamie too), the valet jams a knife to Claire’s throat and Jamie drops his knife. Murtagh comes in, Jamie disarms the valet, Claire shouts the valet is the bad guy from Paris, the Duke wants to make nice, the valet gives up the Duke as the one who made him attack Claire and Mary, Jamie punches the valet who lands on the floor. Mary must have grown a GIANT pair, cuz she picks up the knife and stabs the valet to death. As if that’s not bad enough, Murtagh goes all Lizzie Borden and chops off the Duke’s head and gives it to Mary. Roll credits, The End!
Man oh man, they sure packed a lot into this week’s episode and not for nuthin, unless you were vacationing on the moon, you know, Herself, Diana Gabaldon wrote this episode. I totally LOVED all the humorous little one liners or bon mots, as the Comte would say, that she threw in. Adventure, hilarity, terror and all the good stuff rolled up into one Gabaldonian enchilada. I know she’s a busy woman, but I hope she can write another episode next year, cuz she is SO good! See you next week and till then, Tulach Ard Y’all!