A zillion years ago, I wrote a blog called ‘My Top 10 Thoughts When I See Sam Heughan.’ (I’ll put the link at the end.) I thought it was time to update my thoughts. This time it’s more than 10. It’s 104. Geez
1. What a fine young man.
2. Who uses that expression?
3. My dead Aunt Ruth, that’s who.
4. I’m as old as her when I thought she was really old.
5. She used a cane.
6. What was I talking about?
7. Oh yes, that fine young man, Sammy Heughan.
8. I probably shouldn’t call him Sammy.
9. He seems to have lovely manners and that doesn’t happen by accident.
10. His mom must be so proud.
11. My Aunt Ruth would pinch his cheeks.
12. The other cheeks. The ones on his face.
13. You all have dirty minds.
14. When he’s in character he is SO flippin hot.
15. He must exercise all the time.
16. I should’ve kept up with my fitness regime after I had kids.
17. But I didn’t.
18. I did My Peak Challenge.
19. I did it quietly.
20. I don’t do anything quietly.
21. This time I did.
22. I lost 40 pounds.
23. How the F did I do that?
24. I’m proud of myself.
25. I’m proud of all the My Peak Challenge Ladies
26. It would’ve been cool if Sam had married my daughter.
27. But she’s in love with someone else and she’s never met Sam.
28. She lives in Utah.
29. Utah is too far away.
30. Sometimes I miss her so much I think I’ll go nuts.
31. If she married Sam, they would’ve had bagpipes at their wedding.
32. If she marries Red Jake, I’ll beg her to have bagpipes, but she’s not engaged.
33. I wonder if Red Jake is Scottish.
34. He’s a ginger after all.
35. Maybe I’ll get them DNA testing for Christmas.
36. I wonder how much time Sam gets off for Christmas.
37. Probably a month.
38. He has a grueling schedule.
39. Thank God he has Davie Hollywood to drive him everywhere.
40. I wonder if Sam sleeps in the car on the way to work.
41. I wonder if Davie puts a blankie on him and tucks a teddy bear next to his face?
42. Probably not.
43. He probably just lets him sleep.
44. When they get to work, I wonder if Davie slaps him in the face or just gently wakes him up?
45. I’m going with ‘gently wakes him up.’
46. It would be funny if Sam had to punch a time clock.
47. Like the ones in factories in WW II where they built airplanes.
48. I’m sure he doesn’t.
49. That would be funny though.
50. I would’nt want to sit still for four hours while someone put scar make-up on my back.
51. I wonder if he practices his lines while they’re doing that.
52. I can hardly sit still to have my hair cut.
53. He has so much patience.
54. How does he memorize all those lines?
55. I read that some old-timey actors wrote dialogue on their hands.
56. When I was in the play Bye Bye Birdie, I left weird notes on the set so my co-star would find them mid-performance.
57. He stayed in character.
58. But his eyes were laughing.
59. I bet Sam misses theatre.
60. All actors miss theatre.
61. It’s terrifying and wonderful.
62. Like my honeymoon.
63. Just kidding.
64. I like to use that reference.
65. I slept through my honeymoon.
66. I was tired.
67. I drank too much at my wedding.
68. And didn’t eat.
69. I wonder what Sam eats?
70. Probably protein bars.
71. I bet he unwraps them first.
72. He’s very manly.
73. I bet he could digest paper.
74. But who’d want to do that?
75. Why does my mind wander so much?
76. I bet it’s cuz I’m a Gemini.
77. Not because I’m old.
78. Let’s go with that.
79. Sam’s not old.
80. Sam is hot.
81. It always comes back to that.
82. He’s a brilliant actor.
83. I hope he gets an Emmy some day.
84. I wonder if he’s being judged by his looks?
85. Women are judged by their looks.
86. It sucks.
87. He really is a brilliant actor.
88. He doesn’t miss a trick.
89. He and Cait have wonderful chemistry as Jamie and Claire.
90. I hated Chemistry class.
91. I hated ALL science classes.
92. In Europe you don’t have to study science if you’re an English major.
93. I know that cuz Texan, Carly Brown went to St. Andrews and she told me.
94. She’s the 2013 Scottish National Poetry Slam Champion. She’s getting her Ph.D. in Glasgow.
95. I wrote a blog about her.
96. She makes me proud.
97. She was an alarmingly alert baby.
98. Sam and his buddies should go see her perform in Glasgow.
99. Her poetry is hilarious. And socially relevant.
100. He’d laugh his ass off.
101. I’ve seen his ass.
102. I should exercise more.
103. I already said that.
104. Sam’s a fine young man…
Sam Heughan, (Being Adorable) Great North Run
Grace & Red Jake being weird.
Davie Hollywood Being a Trusty Side-Kick in his Groovy Car