104 #Sam Heughan Thoughts featuring Davie Hollywood, Driver Extraordinaire; My Daughter, Grace & Carly Brown, the Scottish National Poetry Slam Champ.

A zillion years ago, I wrote a blog called ‘My Top 10 Thoughts When I See Sam Heughan.’ (I’ll put the link at the end.) I thought it was time to update my thoughts. This time it’s more than 10. It’s 104. Geez

1.  What a fine young man.
2.  Who uses that expression?
3.  My dead Aunt Ruth, that’s who.
4.  I’m as old as her when I thought she was really old.
5.  She used a cane.
6.  What was I talking about?
7.  Oh yes, that fine young man, Sammy Heughan.
8.  I probably shouldn’t call him Sammy.
9.  He seems to have lovely manners and that doesn’t happen by accident.
10. His mom must be so proud.
11. My Aunt Ruth would pinch his cheeks.
12. The other cheeks.  The ones on his face.
13. You all have dirty minds.
14. When he’s in character he is SO flippin hot.
15. He must exercise all the time.
16. I should’ve kept up with my fitness regime after I had kids.
17. But I didn’t.
18. I did My Peak Challenge.
19. I did it quietly.
20. I don’t do anything quietly.
21. This time I did.
22. I lost 40 pounds.
23. How the F did I do that?
24. I’m proud of myself.
25. I’m proud of all the My Peak Challenge Ladies
26. It would’ve been cool if Sam had married my daughter.
27. But she’s in love with someone else and she’s never met Sam.
28. She lives in Utah.
29. Utah is too far away.
30. Sometimes I miss her so much I think I’ll go nuts.
31. If she married Sam, they would’ve had bagpipes at their wedding.
32. If she marries Red Jake, I’ll beg her to have bagpipes, but she’s not engaged.
33. I wonder if Red Jake is Scottish.
34. He’s a ginger after all.
35. Maybe I’ll get them DNA testing for Christmas.
36. I wonder how much time Sam gets off for Christmas.
37. Probably a month.
38. He has a grueling schedule.
39. Thank God he has Davie Hollywood to drive him everywhere.
40. I wonder if Sam sleeps in the car on the way to work.
41. I wonder if Davie puts a blankie on him and tucks a teddy bear next to his face?
42. Probably not.
43. He probably just lets him sleep.
44. When they get to work, I wonder if Davie slaps him in the face or just gently wakes him up?
45. I’m going with ‘gently wakes him up.’
46. It would be funny if Sam had to punch a time clock.
47.  Like the ones in factories in WW II where they built airplanes.
48.  I’m sure he doesn’t.
49.  That would be funny though.
50.  I would’nt want to sit still for four hours while someone put scar make-up on my back.
51.  I wonder if he practices his lines while they’re doing that.
52. I can hardly sit still to have my hair cut.
53. He has so much patience.
54. How does he memorize all those lines?
55. I read that some old-timey actors wrote dialogue on their hands.
56. When I was in the play Bye Bye Birdie, I left weird notes on the set so my co-star would find them mid-performance.
57. He stayed in character.
58. But his eyes were laughing.
59. I bet Sam misses theatre.
60. All actors miss theatre.
61. It’s terrifying and wonderful.
62. Like my honeymoon.
63. Just kidding.
64. I like to use that reference.
65. I slept through my honeymoon.
66. I was tired.
67. I drank too much at my wedding.
68. And didn’t eat.
69. I wonder what Sam eats?
70. Probably protein bars.
71. I bet he unwraps them first.
72. He’s very manly.
73. I bet he could digest paper.
74. But who’d want to do that?
75. Why does my mind wander so much?
76. I bet it’s cuz I’m a Gemini.
77. Not because I’m old.
78. Let’s go with that.
79. Sam’s not old.
80. Sam is hot.
81. It always comes back to that.
82. He’s a brilliant actor.
83. I hope he gets an Emmy some day.
84. I wonder if he’s being judged by his looks?
85. Women are judged by their looks.
86. It sucks.
87. He really is a brilliant actor.
88. He doesn’t miss a trick.
89. He and Cait have wonderful chemistry as Jamie and Claire.
90. I hated Chemistry class.
91. I hated ALL science classes.
92. In Europe you don’t have to study science if you’re an English major.
93. I know that cuz Texan, Carly Brown went to St. Andrews and she told me.
94. She’s the 2013 Scottish National Poetry Slam Champion. She’s getting her Ph.D. in Glasgow.
95. I wrote a blog about her.
96. She makes me proud.
97. She was an alarmingly alert baby.
98. Sam and his buddies should go see her perform in Glasgow.
99. Her poetry is hilarious. And socially relevant.
100. He’d laugh his ass off.
101. I’ve seen his ass.
102. I should exercise more.
103. I already said that.
104. Sam’s a fine young man…

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Sam Heughan, (Being Adorable) Great North Run

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Grace & Red Jake being weird.

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Davie Hollywood Being a Trusty Side-Kick in his Groovy Car

https://melissasobservations.com/2014/09/30/top-10-thoughts-when-i-see-sam-heughan/

 

What happens when my 29-year old son watches #Outlander episode ‘The Watch’ and acts like a wee loon.

 

My son’s work hours are weird cuz he works in TV news.  So he randomly had a rainy day off in the middle of the week and I was home so he says, ‘Let’s watch another episode of Outlander.  But I’m not gonna be funny, I just want to watch this time.’  Me: ‘Okay that sounds good.’  **Runs and gets a notebook.  Hides it by my side.**

The theme music starts and the melodious tones of Raya Yarbrough echo through the living room….’Billow and breeze, island and sees.’ 

Jake chimes in ‘Bilbo and brie, I like good cheese…’

Credits play.

Jake:  ‘Wow, that’s an expensive transition!  Lens flare!’

Jake:  (Reads all the credits with a weird Scottish accent, until I started laughing.)  ‘What?  Am I good at it?’

Me:  ’NO!’

Jake:  ‘Oh, look.’  They’re having sex again.

Jake in high cockney accent:  ‘Blimey!  Don’t touch the rock!’

McQuarrie holds a gun to Jamie’s head.

Jake:  He’s gotta use his Scottish kung-fu moves.  He could totally get outta that.  I learned that move in 4th grade karate.

McQuarrie puts the gun down and talks to Ian and Jenny.

Jake:  ‘Really?  All that tensions and it’s all LOL, JK.  If this was Game of Thrones, they’d put the gun straight up his ass and set it on fire.’

Me:  ‘I’m so glad it’s not Game of Thrones.’

Jake: I thought his last name was Frasier, not McTavish.  Sings Frasier theme song: ‘Tossed salad and scrambled eggs.’

Sees McQuarrie’s clan pin.

Jake: ‘Is that like a merit badge?’  ‘I bet it’s for woodcarving. They made their own furniture back then.’ Laughs.

Jake:  (Looks at me) ‘I bet you like this show cuz of the sets and costumes.  You like that stuff.’

Robbie McNabb enters scene.

Jake:  “Should I assume that kid will get his ear hammered on that thing?’

The ‘Watch’ are knocking things over and set a hay wagon on fire.

Jake:  ‘Are those guys gonna cause ‘havoc?’  Good word, right?’  Laughs.

A dog barks:

Jake:  ‘The original Lassie is totally dead by the way.’

Horrocks enters.

Jake:  ‘Is that guy Seamus or is he a pirate?’

Wee Jamie splashes Claire.

Jake:  ‘Oh crap, is that kid gonna get his ear nailed?’  ‘I’m glad that wasn’t my punishment when I was little.’

Jenny grabs her stomach and moans.

Jake: ‘Is that lady gonna have her baby?  Oh, her water broke!  Called it!’

Jenny’s labor continues….

Jake:  ‘Why hasn’t she had the baby yet?  Can she just resquirt water up there?  How does that whole thing work?’

Jake (about Jenny)  ‘That actress is hot.  I’ll give her a real baby.’

Me:  ‘She’s pregnant in real life.’

Jake:  ‘Does she have a sister?’

Jamie and Ian are talking.

Jake:  ‘That guy’s leg looks like a bicycle pump.  Is he a pirate?’

Ian to Jamie:  ‘What will you do about Horrocks?’

Jake shouts:  ‘Kill em dog!’ ‘Roll up on em gangsta style!’

Claire in the bedroom talking to Jamie:  ‘It’s me that’s let you down. I can’t have children.’

Jake:  ‘It coulda been that other husband.  He’s already a huge pussy. This would just be one more nail in the coffin.’

Jamie’s waiting outside for Horrocks.

Jake in a deep voice:  “Hey man, you got da stuff?’  Dude!  Blast him with your street justice?  No wait….is it gonna be Claire?  Why would he sneak out to meet Claire?’  No!  It’s the pirate!’

And then he stopped talking and kept watching.  When we watch Outlander together, I never know how much he’s going to say and how long it’ll last, but I always know he’s good for a few laughs.  Until next time folks!

Lord John Grey Announced! Heughan, Dresbach & Steele Respond! I like exclamation points!!!

Outlander Starz today announced the casting of Australian actor David Berry as Lord John Grey causing formerly dead ovaries to re-launch and breasts to move to the auto lactate zone in a phenomenon reported by the AMA and other Medical Associations around the world.  NASA is also looking into possible connections with tidal flow interference along with planet rotational hijinks although that’s just a ‘working theory’ according to their spokesperson.

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Sam Heughan who’s hard at work shooting Season 3 of Outlander was reached on set and bellowed, ‘Jesus H Roosevelt Christ’, this new guy’s right hunky and God willing can finally take the heat off me. ‘Somebody find Davie Hollywood and tell him to skedaddle out for a $hit TON of donuts, give some to the cast and crew and save SEVEN boxes for me! Also, cancel my morning work-out cuz the big guy’s sleeping in!’  Screen Shot 2016-08-29 at 1.44.12 PM

Costume Designer, Terry Dresbach announced a contingency plan which involves placing expandable fabric inserts into Heughan’s costumes to allow for ‘celebratory girth’ and Production Designer, Jon Gary Steele (who never seems to use his first name but continues to hang onto it for some reason) immediately ordered carpenters to widen doors on the sets and said, ‘we plan for these types of things, so no need for panic!’ although his voice rose sharply at the end of the sentence so it’s anyone’s guess what that’ll do to budgets.

Here’s a paparazzi snap from behind the scenes of Heughan taken this week. It looks like someone pulled a ripcord on an inflatable raft!!!

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But now back to a few actual truths vs. the drivel I’ve been pawning off in the previous 4 paragraphs.  David Berry, a hunkalicious Australian, IS the actor now known as Lord John Grey and according to his IMDB page, he was a singer and violinist in his early years (Holy crap, me too. For realzies!!) .  He later studied at the NIDA (National Institute of Dramatic Arts) and graduated in 2010 where it looks like he immediately booked lots of gigs due to his acting skill, experience and the aforementioned hunkiness.  You can check out his page here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4885081/Screen Shot 2016-08-29 at 1.54.38 PM

Them’s slim pickins kids, but that’s all we know right now except that with a tiny bit of on-line digging, I’m sure we can find lonely lasses whining that he’s not blond enough, doesn’t have an ‘aquiline nose’ or other such yammerings.  But as for myself and the other 99% sane Outlander viewers, there’s nothing but happiness, rainbows and smooth sailing ahead with today’s announcement.

Note:  The first four paragraphs are humor or ‘parody’ as it’s sometimes known.  No harm is meant or implied.  Void where prohibited.  If you have an erection that lasts more than three hours, please contact your doctor or the Guinness Book of World Records. Namaste.

 

 

The Brilliance of #Outlander, the lack of Bow-Chick-A-Bow-Wow and Why I Love It Just As It Is

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Immediately after watching Outlander, Episode 212, I tweeted how much I loved it, it was fabulous, and expressed my heartfelt love and admiration in as much as 140 measly characters will allow.  Sort of as a jokey aside, I also said I was sure the kvetchers would probably come up with something to dislike, but truthfully I didn’t think they would.

Imagine my surprise when almost immediately, women began listing their complaints about the episode, the top one being there wasn’t any sex between Jamie and Claire.  I jokingly said something about if they want to see sex, they should rent a costume-drama porno. (Note: I actually saw one of those in a hotel once and it was HOT!  That and ‘Naughty Catholic Schoolgirls’ are the sum total of my porn watching, neither one very pornish now that I think about it.)  Then someone else did a ‘twit-longer’ on the subject and all hell seemed to break loose with someone saying I had ridiculed the long-time fans.  Someone else said they feel bad for the partners of women like me if we equate sex with porn.  Normally when something like this happens, I shake my head and ignore it, however…. this time I don’t feel like it.

So here goes.  Although I’m no expert, I know the difference between sex and porn.  Like Jamie and Claire, I’ve been married for a long time, we just celebrated our 30th anniversary.  Maybe the best kept secret of a happy marriage is the wild, burn down the walls, monkey sex, that nobody talks about.  Well, I just did and for once I’m grateful that my children have zero interest in reading my blog!!!  So although I haven’t gone door-to-door with a clipboard, I’m pretty sure nobody needs to feel bad for the partners of other women who love the show as it is.

Yes, Jamie and Claire love each other and make passionate bow-chicka-bow-wow on a regular basis.  In the books, there’s endless time to read about it, grip the book till it bends, drool and re-read.  But in the TV series, there is only so much time to cram in everything that happens in a cohesive manner.  And if I have a choice between watching Jamie and Claire get down with their bad selves while Barry White croons in the background or watching the story play out, I choose the story every time.  If I get a hankering to see Jamie and Claire get it on, I can always watch ‘The Wedding’, the ‘make-up sex with the knife’, the Paris sex, the whatever sex.  I know they adore each other, were made for each other and do IT whenever possible, but I’d rather see the story because there are only 13 episodes to cram it all in, I’ve been visualizing it in my head for 20 years and I want to see it.

This is my first and only Fandom experience and it seems like there is always kvetching about something so I’ll go back to averting my eyes and keeping my mouth shut, but judging from the response that I get when I tweet out my admiration for the series, there are way more people who love the show than have problems with it.  I, for one, can think of no television program that comes close to capturing the hearts of millions of women of a certain age like Outlander does, so I really wish we could all appreciate what we have.  And no, I’m not an obedient Pollyanna zombie who loves everything, but I do know how to recognize a top notch television show when I see one and Outlander is it.

What Happens When My 28-Year Old Son watches #Outlander and Makes Me Laugh Till I Cry…or Boys Like It Too!

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I’m on vacation in Utah for the entire month of April. I rented a teeny, tiny apartment near my daughter and today my son drove in from L.A. for a quick visit.  He arrived late and was too wired to sleep right away, so we decided to catch him up on Outlander. He’d watched the first half of Season 1 when he came home to Austin last year, so we cracked open a couple of beers and sat down to watch.

As you might remember the second half of Season One began with Episode 109.  There had been a hiatus of several months when this episode aired.  When we’d last seen our heroes, Claire had been captured by Black Jack Randall while Jamie was gone with the MacKenzie men to meet up with that no good Irish traitor, yet hunkalicious Horrocks.

The following is Jake’s commentary:

Episode opens with Jamie’s voiceover at the river.

Jake:  ‘Maybe he rescued her at the end of the last episode and then had to talk to himself for an hour.  (Looks at me.) ‘They didn’t have therapy back then.’

Opening Credits Roll, Claire’s dirty legs appear.

Jake:  ‘Oh for God’s sake, take a bath you hippy.’  ‘You know what? I’m gonna keep drinking beer until I can burp the theme song.’  (Tries to do it. Fails.)

MacKenzie men put a knife to the guard’s throat.

Jake:  ‘On Game of Thrones they would’ve killed him.’

Murtagh thumps the guard over the head and knocks him out.

Jake:  ‘He’s gonna wake up in 5 minutes and go tell everyone they’re there.  By the way, is your monitor dark or can they not afford better lighting? Isn’t Starz doing well now?’ Update: (It was my monitor, he fixed it….smartypants)

Jamie enters room with a gun.

Jake:  ‘Effin’g shoot him! Roll credits. Done.  Shoot him in the brain.  She can get away.  That actress sure gets naked a lot.’

Jamie’s Voiceover:  I wonder why I chose not to take his life.

Jake:  ‘Me too.’

Explosion happens.

Jake: (in weird high accent) ‘That noise gave me a fright.’

Jamie and Claire gallop away on horses.

Jake (with deep announcer voice)  ‘The End.’

Jamie:  Randall didn’t hurt ye?

Jake:  (High woman’s voice)  ‘Only emotionally.’

Jamie yells at Claire about being captured and assaulted.

Jake:  ‘He’s victim blaming!’

They meet up with MacKenzie clan at the inn.  Jamie goes upstairs to punish Claire.

Jake: (shouts in Scottish accent)  ‘Go to time out!  No Xbox!’

Music plays as Jamie begins to beat Claire.

Jake:  ‘Seems like happy shindig music for someone who’s about to beat his wife.’

They arrive at Leoch and Letitia and Colum greet them.

Letitia speaks.

Jake:  ‘Who’s that chick?  Is that the Queen?’

Claire curtsies to them.

Jake (in high woman’s voice)  ‘My ass kind of hurts, he gave me a right pounding…with a belt.’

Laoghaire and Jamie in the hallway:

Laoghaire:  ‘Why did you marry her?’

Jake (with Scottish accent):  ‘Because she has an oral fixation and daddy issues.’

Jamie and Murtagh pee’ing on the wall.

Jake:  ‘Is that the Pissin Rock?  They need to try to write their names.’

Ned Gowan enters Colum’s room.

Jake:  ‘Is that dude the tax collector?  His name is Ned?  They had names like that back then?’

Jamie’s voiceover again back at the river.

Jake:  ‘Oh boy…back to therapy again.’

Laoghaire takes Jamie’s hand, puts it on her breast.

Jake:  ‘Ut oh.  Don’t do it man.  Throw her away like a skipping stone.’

Jake (to Laoghaire with weird accent):  ‘I will comfort you if you need it hot Scottish chick who’s probably not Scottish.’

Claire brushes her curly, messy hair.

Jake:  ‘She needs the stuff that relaxes her hair.  Dear God, she should never move to Houston.’

Jamie’s trying to make up to Claire.

Jake (in bad Cockney accent)  ‘Ye can spank me this time.’

Jamie and Claire’s love scene when Claire says his last name is Fraser.

Jake:  ‘His last name is Frasier?’  (Tries to sing the theme song to ‘Frasier’)‘Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs.’

Jake sees scars on Jamie’s back:  ‘How long do you think it takes to do the scars?  Or else maybe he’s really committed and lets them beat the shit out of him.’

And that’s all folks…  It was so much fun to watch this with him.  I’d forgotten how much he makes me laugh.  I hope we have time to watch another episode while he’s here!

 

Seven Simple Steps For Watching Outlander Season Two or What’s the Procedure?

As Outlander, Season 2 fast approaches, many of you are wondering, ‘What’s the procedure?’  Occasions as momentous as this require action.  After extensive research, i.e. scratching my head and staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours,  I’m happy to report I’ve assembled the 4-1-1 all in one place.  You’re welcome ladies.

1)  As you know the first half of Season 2 takes place in Paris so it’s time to brush up on some easy French phrases buy enrolling in Berlitz or at the very least hanging out in the Ladies Room at your local La Madeleine Restaurant where they play french language skills CDs.  This past Christmas, I was thinking ahead when I asked the hubster for a “Learn French While Driving” CD.  Although I remember many useful phrases from Madame Doyle’s High School French class, I felt it was my duty to sharpen my skills such as: ‘Pardonez-moi. Avez-vous des Grey Poupon?’
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2)  It’s time to head to your local Home Depot and grab up some tubes of window and door sealant.  Each time Jamie Fraser appears shirtless on screen,  your shouts and moans will become consecutively louder and there’s no reason to bother the neighbors or involve the Po Po.  It’ll be a public service and also you’ll save on your heating and cooling bills. Win-win.

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3)  Since you’ll already be at Home Depot, you may as well add some 1/2″ PVC pipe to your cart and build yourself a bum roll and a hoop skirt.  As you may know, your Outlander experience is not complete without a little cos-play and you can’t just throw on a maxi skirt and be done with it.  You need to replicate Claire’s discomfort in her 1700’s wardrobe.  So dust off your sewing machines and start bending PVC pipe cuz you’ve only got a week or so left!

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4)  I’m not gonna spill the beans, but if what I think is going to happen actually does happen, you’re going to need a Support Group or actual psycho-therapy by the end of the Season.  I’m much less of a #BookWhiner than I used to be, however, I’m REALLY hoping the Powers That Be switched things up/changed the crap out of this chapter so that what I think is going to happen actually does NOT happen because I love him/them and I don’t want to lose him/them.  And in the words of Forrest Gump, ‘That’s all I have to say about that.’

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5)  Facebook groups and Twitter are fabulous for sharing all your Outlander feels, but if you’re able to have a buddy with you as you watch the show, you’ll find it verra helpful.  If your buddy is another woman, put on your PJs, wrap yourself in a Fraser or MacKenzie tartan, get a case of wine, a gallon of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, some Adele CDs and you’re good to go.  If your buddy is a man, I suggest chicken drummettes (so he can throw the bones against the wall with a shout: ‘clean it up wench!’ (Spoiler Alert: My husband has actually done this and no I didn’t clean it up), don your PVC hoop skirt creation under your new Outlander costume (see #3) and have a barrel of whiskey delivered to your home.

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6) Whether he’s Pocket or Super-sized, it’s time to incorporate Cardboard Jamie into your day-to-day activities. Need to wash the mini-van or pull some weeds? Let Jamie help you get your chores done!  So what if your neighbors silently mock you? You need to get used to hanging with the Fraser’s, so until they alert the HOA, Jamie’s your new BFF.

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7) Last but not least.  It’s been a while since you’ve heard ‘Scots,’ so it’s time to brush up on your Outlander phraseology! When your son loses a baseball game, simply say:  ‘Dinna Fash Jake…you’ll beat yon wee gommerels next time!’ When your daughter knocks over a giant display of soup cans and paper towels in Target‘Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, Gracie…were you raised in a barn?’ This will get you back in the swing of things, with no need for silly subtitles like last year.

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If you follow these Seven Simple Steps, you’ll be all set when the new Season of Outlander begins on April 9!  As always, I’m happy I could be of ‘assistance’. I’ll be back with my re-caps and memes each week, but until then, Tulach Ard Y’all!!

 

Wherein I Lose My Mind Over The Season 2 Outlander Trailer

Earlier this week I was in my house, minding my own beeswax when I checked Twitter, which I do several times a day. #Addict  My entire Twitter feed was like a never-ending Santa Claus Naughty List with frenzied tweets about the Season 2 Outlander Trailer and the announcement that we FINALLY have a date!

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Just like you, I have thoughts and feelings or THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS(!) and I can’t keep them inside.  Rather than send out 17,000 individual tweets, I’m gonna to try to confine all my feels in one place…as in right here!  Fasten your seat belts folks, cuz here we go!

Holy hell my people, I do NOT remember this in the books and it gives me life!  And not for nothin, Murtagh is HAWT!  He quite possibly took a very long bubble bath and he’s wearing a fancy Scottish vest thingie!!!

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Jamie realizes their lives might become a bit more complicated and asks that Claire promise they’ll always find a way back to each other.  He also has the ability to bring snacks on the trip.JamieDimple

 

You’d think at my age, I’d be able to control my impure thoughts, but NO I cannot and so I will attend confession first thing tomorrow…but in the meantime, I believe I’ll just keep ogling.

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Why is Claire exiting a plane….and when is this….when is this???!!!!???

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The French people are celebrating French things in a luscious French room wearing gorgeous French clothes and I think I might possibly lose my damn mind from the scensory overload. Merci mesdames et monsieurs!

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Why is Claire sitting on that bench and why are there WWII-ish planes flying overhead??? What. Is. Happening?!?

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There’s a battle…is it Culloden?  Praying for book changes!!!

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Apparently you can travel back through the stones to hot baths and electricity, but you have to trade in the gorgeous warrior for the nice steady professor when you do it.ClaireHospital

Raise your hand if you’ve ever seen a man like this in Target. *Foot tapping* Anyone? Anyone?  Do we think evolution wiped them all out and how can we get them back?

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And I think he thinks they’re about to live happily ever after…

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So that’s it. The most beautiful, dramatic, visually orgasmic program on television  and we only have to wait around 2 months longer to see it. I can do this…I can do this.   #MustLearnYogaAndMeditation

 

 

 

 

Outlander Golden Globes, World’s Luckiest Fans & The Eternal Hunkiness of Bobby Sherman

Outlander is my first Fandom experience unless you count me and the Stachakunas twins passing notes in Mr. Lombardi’s Social Studies class about who was cuter Bobby Sherman or his ‘brothers’ on ‘Here Come The Brides’ which I don’t. That being said, I’m 100% sure that Outlander fans have lucked out with the Team that brings us our show.

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Correct me if I’m wrong (please don’t), but after last night’s Love Fest known world-wide as the Golden Globe’s, I can’t imagine another fandom where the Show Runner, Executive Producer, Costume Designer, Writer and Stars are ALL non-stop tweeting photographs and updates of the evening and sending best wishes to the Fans from start to finish.  From the limo ride, Red Carpet, dinner plates and after parties, they included us every step of the way.  They have from the very beginning and that makes us the luckiest fans in the world.

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After the show, I tweeted to Caitriona Balfe that I couldn’t have been more proud if she was my own daughter, yes I’m old enough to be her mother, if I was mildly slutty 😉 and I meant it too.  I realize I open myself up to ridicule with tweets like that, but I dinna give a flip…I’m an older woman, so sue me!  (But really, prior to now, I’ve only ever been this excited watching my daughter bring down the house with her dance solos or my son hitting home runs and making the All Star Team.)  Cait is such a class act and with her style and sweetness brings so much positive attention to our show.

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Sam Heughan’s enthusiastic hunkiness brings so much happiness to the Outlander fanmily.   My Twitter page was blowing up with love, best wishes and happiness directed towards the Outlander cast and team, so, I know I’m not alone in my excitement for all of them.  I wish there was some way we could’ve had one GIANT WATCH PARTY but their including us all on Twitter was the next best thing.

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So thank you to Ron Moore (sharing the experience like a ‘Boss’!), Maril Davis (sharing and looking like a movie star herself), Terry Dresbach (tweeting from the middle of the night in Scotland), Diana Gabaldon (being her usual wonderful self) and Sam & Cait waving, smiling and being the wonderful class acts that they always are. We are very, very lucky fans.

And one more thing…in my heart of hearts, I will always believe Bobby Sherman was cuter than David Soul and nobody, I mean not even the trampy Stachakunas twins will ever change my mind!

Outlander Fan Recruitment, Wine with a Bestie & Tight Bodices

This past Friday night, one of my *besties…..let’s call her ‘V’ came over with a bottle of wine for a much needed catch-up visit filled with laughter and crazy conversation.  I was simultaneously cooking and gabbing and as we sat down to eat, I casually asked, ‘have you watched Outlander yet?’   Since she knows it’s my obsession, she sheepishly replied ‘No, but I’ve read your blog and it’s hilarious.‘  My response was ‘How can it be hilarious if you don’t know the characters?’  Her reply ‘You’re so funny, with some of it I didn’t need to know.’

So then this conversation happened:

Me:  So why haven’t you watched it?

V:  I don’t think I’d like it.

Me:  What do you think it’s about?

V:  I dunno.  People walking around in old-timey clothes talking about Medieval shit?  You know like (says with bad English accent)  ‘I’ve got my bodice strapped up way too tight tonight.’

Granted we had just killed a bottle of wine, but her response was enough to knock me off my chair and laugh till I couldn’t breathe.  So when I finally gained control of myself and most of my bladder, I said, ‘tell me how you think the show begins.’

V:  I dunno.  Episode One begins in the Stone Age?

So, after we laughed our asses off again and I googled Medieval and Stone Age and clarified both, I convinced her to watch one episode.  My hubby arrived home from work, poured some wine and he joined us in the living room.

Here are their comments:

Scene:  Frank and Claire are jumping on the bed.

V:  (With bad English accent)  ‘I really want you to screw me, but it’s back in the day when we’re not supposed to say those things.’

Scene:  Frank says, ‘Claire?’

Husband:  (With bad English accent), ‘I don’t have a penis anymore.’

Scene:  Frank and Claire are at Castle Leoch and Frank can’t open the door.

V:  (With terrible accent)
‘You’re a wimp, so I’m just gonna bust on through for you’.
Then V looks at me and says:  ‘I bet she’s looking for a bed.  Oops there’s a table.  I was right! There she goes!’
Then Frank goes ‘downtown’ and V shouts:  ‘Oh my God, is this on cable?!?!”

Scene:  Frank and Claire are at The Reverend’s manse.

Mrs. Graham:  ‘Would you like to join me in the kitchen?’

V:  (Looks at me): She’s gonna school her on how NOT to use the table.

As happens with other people I’ve invited/forced to watch Outlander, she LOVED it and watched the entire episode and stopped with the crazy comments.  As for me, it’s become increasingly obvious that I’m going to have to go door-to-door with my DVD and recruit new fans.  Who’s with me?

Outlander, ‘Women’s Image Award’ Nominees, Heaving Bosoms and The Search for a New Reality

Like many Outlander superfan(atics), I was a teeny bit worried when I first heard the book was being made into a TV series.  My fears were mostly that the powers that be might turn it into the Heaving Bosom/Pelvic Thrusting Extravaganza seen in most American made TV shows and movies while leaving out the essence of the story.

Let’s face it boys and girls, most movies are filmed from the man’s point of view.  Whether it’s sex, family, business or the world, it usually comes from the male’s perspective.  Exhibit A. Love/Sex Scene #1….Action!  Woman with perfectly formed, giant orbs of goodness, concave stomach, glistening mouth, wild hair, no cellulite (basically my looks, 30 years ago) gleefully gyrates around bedroom, performing endlessly choreographed circus tricks while wearing a slightly nauseated expression, bosom’s heaving in time to an invisible drum. Cut and Print!  And, P.S. she’s usually 15+ years younger than the man she’s performing for and her character has little back story or purpose other than to support the male lead as his wife or mother of his children.

So imagine my delight when the first episodes of Outlander began to air and the gorgeous Caitriona Balfe appeared on screen, not like the Victoria’s Secret glamazon she is, but with a very realistic portrayal of a real woman who finds herself in an unreal situation.  Claire Randall Fraser is strong, she is mouthy/pushy/intimidating/caring/loving/passionate, compassionate and a healer, but most of all she is her own woman and bless those in charge, they actually got it right. They wrote, produced and directed it the right way and let Caitriona Balfe deliver the goods. (Personal note: I still have no idea how she works non-stop, perhaps this is a ‘Bionic Woman Situation’, but that’s for scientists to discover and me to report on in a later blog.)

So, when this year’s Women’s Image Award nominees were released and FOUR women working on the Outlander series were nominated, there was much jumping for joy in my Twitterverse world.  Among the Outstanding Outlander Women nominated are Anne Kenney, Anna Foerster, Toni Graphia and the one and only Caitriona Balfe.

I began to wonder how it came to be that so many intelligent, skilled women could be affiliated with one show so I began poking around and the answer I came up with was Ron D. Moore.  Ron has shown us that he is unafraid of strong, intelligent women by repeatedly hiring, casting and working with them.  When you have women in these positions, the perspective changes, it has to, because we come from a different place than men.  Not better or worse, just different.  So I applaud Ron D. Moore for doing what most men in power don’t do and that’s hire qualified women.  Until more men give qualified women the opportunity to show what they can do, nothing will change and careers will not progress.  And for that matter, other women in power need to do the same as sometimes we are our own worst enemies.  So thank you Ron we appreciate your intelligence and applaud your strong, forward-thinking attitude.

By the way, in the future I would suggest that other men in the business begin doing the same.  What’s the worst that could happen?  You could wind up with a hit show that millions of people watch and live a rich and fulfilling life.

Note:  Not nominated but still greatly appreciated and respected is Maril Davis, Executive Producer and Ron’s Producing Partner of many years.

17th Annual Women’s Image Award,
Outlander Nominations:

Anna Foerster, Director, ‘The Wedding’
Anne Kenney,  Writer, ‘The Wedding’
Toni Graphia, Writer, ‘The Devil’s Mark’
Caitriona Balfe, Actress, ‘The Garrison Commander’
Outlander, Best Drama Series